Screw You!
A few years ago, one of my friends abruptly ended a relationship with a guy she had been with for 5 years. They had been living together, and she ended up having to stay in their apartment for two weeks after they split up, until she got her next paycheck and could put down a deposit for a new place to live.
If she had had a “Screw You” account, she could have left the night they broke up, gone to a hotel, and looked for a new apartment the next day.
What’s a “Screw You” Account?
A Screw You account is used when you need to escape a bad situation. When you’re done and you’ve had enough, “Screw You!” and get out.
(Side note: a Screw You account can also be called by another name starting with a capital F - You! You’re welcome to use this if you prefer).
Maybe you have a toxic job with a boss that doesn’t respect personal hours or weekends. Maybe your relationship just imploded and you have to find a new place to live NOW. Maybe you have a crappy roommate that you have to get away from. Perhaps you’re even in a dangerous marriage and you’re worried about your safety, and that of your kids.
The Screw You account is your “Get Out of Jail Free” card. You don’t have to wait any longer, take your money and leave. Having a Screw You account means you don’t have to put up with the roommate that was stealing your jewelry and always eating your food out of the fridge. Having Screw You money means you can immediately move out of the apartment that you shared with the boyfriend that cheated. Having Screw You money even means you can flee in the middle of the night if your safety is in question and you have the money to pay for a hotel, car rental, or flight to another state. Especially for women, this is critically important.
What’s the Difference Between Screw You and Emergency Savings?
In personal finance, we always recommend having an emergency savings account with 3-6 months of living expenses saved. You never know what’s going to happen in life. You may lose your job or have an urgent medical expense, and you want to have money set aside so you don’t have to take on credit card debt for unavoidable expenses.
A Screw You account is a little different. Whereas emergency savings can be used for an unexpected car repair or to help cover expenses after job loss, a Screw You account is a method of escape. It helps you break free of something that is causing you emotional (or physical) harm.
Also, I would usually recommend couples to have a joint Emergency Savings. Home repairs, medical expenses and job loss affects both people, and therefore should be a joint expense. Screw You accounts, on the other hand, should always be individual. Only you have the right to decide if or when your Screw You! moment comes.
Guidelines for Your Screw You Account
The first and most important rule is ONLY YOU HAVE ACCESS TO THIS ACCOUNT. It’s essential that your partner does not have any access to this money. None of us want to think of our partners as bad people, but when it comes down to it, breakups and divorce can be messy. Don’t ever risk your partner getting ahold of this money and preventing you from saying Screw You.
You can decide how much money to set aside, but I would recommend a minimum of 2 months expenses, including renting a 1 bedroom or studio apartment in your city. If you need to change your living arrangements fast, you’ll want to be able to cover a fast move and maybe a couple nights in a hotel.
Make sure the money is easily accessible. In most cases, keeping our savings a little out of reach is good, because it prevents us from using them on impulse purchases. However, in this case, you really need the money to be as accessible as possible. If it takes 3 days to transfer money over to your checking account, you won’t be able to access it fast enough. Having a checking account with a debit card can be a good option, especially if your partner has access to your credit cards and could freeze your accounts.
Is a Screw You Account Right for Me?
Life can be a crazy ride. One day you’ll be getting hired for what you think is your dream job, and the next thing you know your boss is texting you at 9pm on a Saturday night asking if you finished that project yet.
If you’re human, you need a Screw You account. Life is too short to be stuck at a toxic job because you need the paycheck. Or stuck in a relationship that no longer serves you because you don’t have anywhere else to live.
If you build your Screw You account, and never have to use it - great for you! I’m really happy for you. But, I know that you’ll be really grateful for that money if the time does come when you need to use it.
Action steps:
Set up an account that’s easily accessible, and your partner has no access to.
Decide how much money you want to save. I recommend 2 months living expenses.
Start setting aside money to fund your account.
Your life may not be perfect, but it is imperfectly yours. The only way to live it is your way.
