From Budgeting to Dream-Building: How to Let Go of Money Anxiety and Build a Life You Love
While budgeting might not sound glamorous, it has the power to transform your life. A solid budget can turn lifelong dreams—like a six-week trip to Europe or that new BMW—into achievable goals.
Budgeting isn’t just about managing money; it’s about reducing stress, easing financial anxiety, and boosting your overall happiness.
When you take control of your finances, you create a life you truly love, free from the constant worry about money.
With a bit of self-reflection and dedication, anyone can find joy, purpose, and fulfillment through their finances.
Show me your credit card statement, and I’ll tell you your priorities
If I looked at your budget today, I’d probably see line-items like: rent/mortgage, groceries, and savings. But then your credit card would show a few splurges - an Uber ride, a latte, or a spontaneous dinner out.
Too often our budgets show where we think our money should go, but our credit card statements show where it actually goes.
When I first started making budgets, I would only include “necessary” expenses, like rent, groceries and bus fare, because I thought that meant I was being responsible with my money. I believed the money I was spending on going out with friends was “irresponsible” so I didn’t include it in my budget, vowing month after month that I would cut it out. This made my budget into a punishment, eliminating any fun and making me feel reckless with my money.
Be honest when building your budget - what do you truly WANT from your money?
So, what inevitably happened was I ignored the budget. Every month. What I didn’t realize at the time is that budgets are not meant to show you what you “should” be doing with your money, they’re a strategic plan for what you want to do with your money.
Budgets are a tool meant to guide you towards the life you want.
So, before making your budget, sit down and make a list of the things that *truly* matter to you.
Here are a few examples to get you started:
Eating organic produce
Having date night once a week
Buying new sweaters every fall
Taking weekend trips every 3 months
New running shoes with custom insoles
A daily latte
When your budget and your credit card statement are in alignment, it means your budget is working.
Scarcity mindset traps
A scarcity mindset with money is when you feel as though money is a limited resource and any time you use it you are draining the bucket, which will eventually run out. This thought pattern leads to cycles of worry about not having enough money and deep guilt over spending, even on things you love.
Scarcity mindset traps often sound like:
“I can’t afford this”
“I don’t have enough money”
“I need to save more”
(All things *I* used to say, by the way).
But when questioned about these statements, a person with a scarcity mindset cannot give details. For example, if they say “I don’t have enough money”, they cannot tell you how much “enough” actually is. Is $1,000 enough? Is $10,000 enough? They don’t know, because ‘enough’ isn’t a number, it’s a feeling.
How much is “enough”?
The first task to shifting your scarcity mindset is to identify exactly how much “enough” is. Having exact numbers not only helps you set goals and mark your progress, it replaces vague anxiety with actionable steps.
Here are some examples:
Feeling: I need to save more for emergencies.
Mindset shift: I need $10,000 in an emergency fund. That should be enough to cover an ER visit, car repair or a couple months of rent if I lose my job.
Feeling: I want to visit my sister in San Francisco, but I don’t have the money.
Mindset shift: I need $1,500 for airfare and a couple dinners out. I’ll sleep on my sister’s couch so I don’t have to pay for a hotel.
Feeling: I can’t afford $200 boots. They’re too expensive.
Mindset shift: If I save $50/month for the next 4 months, then I can buy the boots I want.
Putting actual numbers onto your goals makes them real. Suddenly those boots you want aren’t “too expensive” they’re 4 months away from being yours.
The more you start to dream about what your money can do, the bigger your dreams will become. Just remember: a goal without a plan is just a wish. Set your numbers. Make a plan. Then reach for the stars.
Building a life you love with money
Despite what you may have heard before, money absolutely CAN bring you happiness. Money can bring you more happiness than you ever imagined was possible. But money needs your help to do it.
In order to start building your dream life with money, you must know what your dream life actually looks like.
Ask yourself: if money were no object, what would your life look like?
Spend 5 minutes brainstorming with a piece of paper.
What would your life look like if you didn’t have to work for money?
Use these ideas for inspiration:
If I had all the time and money in the world, what would I do? How would I spend my day-to-day life?
What skills, experiences, or passions have I always wanted to pursue? What’s stopping me?
Is there some dream you’ve suppressed because you thought you couldn’t afford it? Maybe you want to go back to school and get a degree. Or start your own business. Or live abroad. What dreams have been lingering in the back of your mind but never come to fruition?
Next, think about one thing you can do today to move towards that dream. If you’ve always dreamed of studying French in Paris, do a quick search for how much student visas cost. If you want to go back to school, look for a few programs you may be interested in. Start making your dream real, even if you aren’t ready for it… yet.
The most tragic thing in life is unrecognized potential. Money has the ability to help you live a bigger, richer, fuller life but the sad reality is most people leave their dreams sitting on the sidelines because they don’t believe they can achieve them.
Final thoughts
I believe that changing your money mindset has the ability to completely change your life. It can take you from a life of scrimping and worrying to feeling joy and abundance.
But, just like any progress, it can sometimes feel like two steps forward and one step back. When the money doubts inevitably start creeping back in, repeat these phrases to yourself:
“I use money as a tool to build the life I desire and deserve”.
“I confidently set aside money for future security AND enjoyment”.
Although I don’t want to end on a morbid note, the fact is that none of us know when our end will come. We may live another 50 years or be gone tomorrow. We owe it to ourselves to find the balance between preparing for the future, but living fully in the present and embracing each day as it comes.
Action Steps:
Look through your budget and credit card statements - are they in alignment?
Make a list of things that you enjoy spending money on, and find a way to work them into your budget.
Start dreaming! Maybe you don’t have a big, audacious dream yet. That’s ok. But keep thinking about this idea - “If I had all the time and money in the world, what would I do?” Then, when your dream does begin to emerge, run towards it with open arms.
Your life may not be perfect, but it is imperfectly yours. The only way to live it is your way.
