How to Make a New Year’s Resolution and Actually Stick to it
Have you ever made a New Year’s Resolution…and given it up by January 15th?
I love a new beginning. I love when Monday mornings feel fresh and new as you start the week. I love moving to a new home and feeling like you get a blank slate. I even love buying a new pair of running shoes and thinking “I wonder where these shoes will take me”. So it might surprise you that I hate New Year’s Resolutions.
To begin with, I don’t think you should wait until January 1st to make a goal. If it’s December 15th and you want to make a goal, do it now! Don’t wait until January!
The three most common New Year’s Resolutions are: lose weight, exercise more, and save more money. I’d be willing to bet that you’ve made one of these resolutions in the past. I know I have. But did it work?
Anyone who frequents a gym knows that January is packed. Everyone making a New Year’s Resolution swears that “this will be the year I get fit”. For a few weeks they work out regularly, then in February less regularly, finally giving up by March.
So why do New Year’s Resolutions fail?
Contrary to popular belief, it doesn’t have anything to do with your willpower or your desire for change. New Year’s Resolutions fail because the goals are unspecific or unrealistic.
“I want to save more money” is not a goal. It’s far too vague. How much is “more”? Where will this extra savings come from, if you don’t have it now? When will you reach the end of your goal? What do you want to save more for?
In order for a goal to work, it needs a specific map for how you are going to get there and that map needs to be realistic for your own life. If you make $50,000/year then saving $45,000 is probably unrealistic.
Sometimes we shoot too high on our goals because we want to fail. If I make $50,000/year and tell myself that I have to save $45,000, I’m going to fail. I can’t pay for my life (much less my taxes) with $5,000. So instead of making a more realistic goal, I say “oh well, I tried to save more. It didn’t work. I guess I can’t do it. Too bad”, and just like that I’ve given myself an excuse to quit. Realistically, maybe saving $10,000 would have been a great goal, instead I reached too high, gave up, and accomplished nothing.
Recently, I came across the idea of “7 layers of why”. Basically, you ask yourself “why” 7 times to try and get to the root of why you want something. It goes like this:
Asking yourself “why” 7 times forces you to get to the root of your goals.
See how this goes? “I want to save more money” isn’t really about the money. It’s about relieving yourself of the burden of debt so you can keep working towards your dream home to raise your children in. “I want to save money so I can pay off my debt, and start saving for a home where my kids can grow up” THAT’S a goal.
How to Make a New Year’s Resolution
Decide on your goal
For now, I’ll let you be general.
Examples: save more money, pay off debt, exercise more, eat healthier, get more sleep
Do the 7 layers of why exercise
Take your time and really think about it. Give yourself at least 10 minutes. Why are you making this goal? What is the root of your desire?
Example: If your goal is “get more sleep” it’s probably not because you want to spend an extra 2 hours per day unconscious. You want the benefits that more sleep provides: health, better mood, more energy. Those are what you are striving for.
What’s the end goal?
Every goal needs to have a finish line, even if that’s a long way in the future. Is your goal to pay off $10,000 in student loans? Boost your credit score 100 points? If you don’t have a finish line, you won’t know how much progress you’re making.
Example: I want to have a $25,000 emergency fund to cover 6 months of living expenses.
Make a plan
Start from your end goal. If your goal is to pay off $10,000 in student loans in the next 12 months, you need to pay about $833 per month. Is that realistic for you? If it’s not, you’ll need to extend your timeline. That’s ok. You’re still going in the right direction.
Example: My husband and I will contribute $1,000 per month to our emergency fund for the next 25 months to reach our goal of $25,000. We will put any unexpected money (bonuses, side hustle cash, checks from grandma) into the fund as well to reach our goal faster.
Get specific
You need to put a number on your goal. If you’re going to save more money, what’s the exact amount per month or week? $100 per week? $500 per month? Give your goal a number.
But, remember to be realistic. If you are saving $0/month right now, you probably won’t be able to save $1,000 next month. Try saving $200 for a couple months, and if it’s too easy you can always adjust your goal in a few months.
Road blocks.
Finally, life isn’t linear. You can’t always go up. Goals go up and down too and that’s ok. Maybe your goal is to have a $25,000 emergency fund, and you’ve already saved $15,000. Then your car breaks down and you need to use $3,000 for an emergency repair. That’s ok! Use the money, that’s what it’s there for. But don’t use it as an excuse to give up. Now you’re starting from $12,000 and it’s time to keep working.
Action Items:
If you’re reading this in the middle of summer, don’t wait until the New Year to make a resolution! Your goals shouldn’t wait.
Get specific about your goals. Give them a number. How many times per week will you exercise? How much debt are you going to pay off? How much money per month will you save for your dream home?
Don’t give up when you hit a road block. You WILL hit an obstacle at some point. That’s how life works. It’s not an excuse to give up. Even if your timeline needs to be adjusted, that finish line is still waiting for you. Don’t give up!
Need some more help setting goals? Check out my blog Goal Setting: Start from the Finish Line.
Your life may not be perfect, but it is imperfectly yours. The only way to live it is your way.
